So Kiss Me Goodbye
by CrazyLoveChild
Summary: Ichigo wonders where or what happened to him, dreading the outcome. Language, Suggestion, Angst, Abuse, Out Of Character-ness


Author: CrazyLoveChild [Me]  
Beta: No one; all horrendous writing/mistakes are mine.  
Title: So Kiss Me Goodbye…  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Grimmjow Jaggerjack/ Ichigo Kurosaki  
Warnings: Language, Suggestion, Angst, Out Of Character-ness  
Summary: Ichigo wonders where or what happened to _him_, dreading the outcome.

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own, and will not own Bleach. Except in my imagination….**

**Author's Note:** I know I'm supposed to be working on the other stories, but hopefully this destroys my writer's block. =D Title was taken from the song 'Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)' by Cobra Starship. I've actually been working on this for a few weeks, adding and taking it apart. I just used this to let out my stress, free time, or boredom...

* * *

Ichigo looked out through his bedroom window with worry plastered on his face as if it were a tattoo. Any idiot could tell Ichigo was troubled over something.

And no one was there to comfort him. _He_ wasn't there to comfort him.

_He_ wasn't there to hold him, to whisper to him that it was going to be alright, wasn't there to kiss Ichigo's tears away. Hell, it was just because _he_ wasn't there, period. And that was what bothered Ichigo the most because where the fuck was _he_? _He_ was supposed to be done his mission of changing the future an hour ago.

A lot can happen in an hour: _he_ could have been killed, _he_ could have been tortured, _he_ could have failed, _he_ could have been captured, and_ he_ could have gotten hurt.

But, what almost caused Ichigo to break when he thought about it was the possibility that he was lied to. That _he_ could have lied to him, after the precious moments that they spent together, thawing Ichigo's heart until there was no ice left. Changing Ichigo to a more normal person, not the cold-hearted bastard he truly wanted to be.

If it was a lie all along, no, he wouldn't think about it. He _couldn't_ think about it.

Slowly, as seconds ticked by, Ichigo's heart broke off piece by piece. _He_ wasn't coming back…

Turning away from the window, Ichigo took the few steps toward his bed and crawled in, wishing the tears away. It wasn't worth crying over. _He_ wasn't worth the precious, seldom tears rolling down Ichigo's face. It was bound to happen anyway.

If their relationship was ever found out, no one would understand. No one would want to listen to him, to his reasoning, to Ichigo trying to explain this forbidden love. It was because _he_ was a hollow, an Espada, one of the elite from Aizen's army.

It was because _he_ was Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the sixth Espada.

Night and day came and passed, causing him to be in a trance-like state. He concluded that Grimmjow hopefully died in battle; it would be less for him to worry about that way. It would be easier to try to break down his love that craved for the stupid Espada.

"_Grimmjow…what if you die? It's not like you can come back or anything…"__ said Ichigo as he grabbed Grimmjow's arm, stopping him from going into the garganta_**(sp?)**_..._

"_Don't worry, Shinigami! I won't die on ya', but if I do, you know I at least didn't go out without a fight!" Grimmjow said in his usual cocky stance, before wrenching his arm free and disappearing from Ichigo's sight._

Ichigo stood at the same spot, looking out of his window, and sighed deeply. He should have went with him. Hell, if he could beat Grimmjow, he could be anyone. Kenpachi, Renji, Byakuya…Ichigo slapped himself in the face. He shouldn't feel guilty. It's because of that damn cat's ego. That's why he left without wanting the aid from Ichigo.

It felt as if mere minutes ago that conversation was spoken…or did it feel like years? Ichigo was unsure of everything now; his internal watch was scrambled ever since he first coupled with the Espada. Moments of passion seemed to last seconds, while time apart seemed like eons.

At least he could get back on track now. Go back to the 'Old Ichigo'; go back on his journey of being in-different. He was almost to his goal, of being in-different, of being unmoving. Until Rukia showed up and ruined it all. If only she could have not introduced him to the world of Soul Society…

Ichigo could blame her, probably would blame her. But he couldn't. Not after all they had been through together, and their many friends. And it wasn't just her, after-all. He jumped right into it; he could have just left her alone. Ichigo just made the wrong choice.

Which led to other wrong choices; wrong choices that included the choice of falling in love with Grimmjow. It was funny as to how life always worked out that way, no matter what you do.

He knew the cons of that choice for sure. Grimmjow was the enemy. He was male, though that didn't really make a difference. But there was one con that troubled Ichigo to no extent.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and a hollow, thus having no heart to love him back.

Ichigo knew he was falling for the violent Espada when they first started their 'relationship' (if one could call it that), but yet did nothing to stop it, or try to stop it. All he could do is go with the flow, until one of them got killed or Grimmjow broke it off.

But the feeling didn't stop as he predicted after Grimmjow's estimated death. Instead, it just kept on growing, the roots of his heart digging deeper into his chest until it was impossible to get out. It felt like he was dying, because the roots were now gaining control of his brain and body and were just lifelessly moving his body like an empty vessel to do what he needed to do and go where he needed to go to live.

Ichigo was a puppet, to put it bluntly, and he didn't care to attempt to cut the strings. All of his ambition, adrenaline, feelings, and common sense had died (or possibly left) with Grimmjow. Even Shirosaki stopped his usual threats of taking over Ichigo's body, finding it no fun to battle someone pitiful.

It was an unhealthy 'relationship' anyway. All they had that linked them together was, well, sex. No dinners, no dates, no anything. Not that Ichigo could picture Grimmjow doing those kinds of things. Ichigo smirked a bit, imagining Grimmjow in a fancy Tux with a bouquet of flowers in one hand. But the smirk quickly vanished, as his mind reminded him that it would never happen, even if Grimjow were alive.

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More weeks passed by, turning into months, and eventually a year was out the window. Ichigo, now 16, was almost mid-way through high-school. Still depressed, though not as much as he did in the beginning, Ichigo did the usual; hide his emotions from everyone else. A few times he accidentally slipped. Rukia, Orihime, and even sometimes Ishida, would ask what was wrong. He habitually answered with, "Feeling ill", or "Just stressed because of school". Never would he give the burden of his secret to the others, possibly putting them into his troubles.

So, walking home from another day of mindless dribble from his teacher, Ichigo took the short way, wanting a nice long shower. Maybe he could actually relax, now that things were getting better; to an extent anyways. After all, it has been a full year, and it was time for him to move on.

Walking in, his body got ready for the routine attack from his father, but found that it was not there; nor were his sisters. A note on the dining room table said they were out for something or other; Ichigo didn't pay attention to the fine details. All he really took in was that they would be home later that night. It was rather suspicious, but that meant he could finally have some form of peace and quiet around the house without being questioned, so Ichigo didn't care. Especially when the note mentioned of how Yuzu was kind enough to take Kon with them, planning to get the lion a new outfit.

Walking up the stairs to his room, Ichigo paused as he suddenly felt a familiar residue wash over him. It was unmistakable…

_He_ was here.

Ichigo slammed to door to his bedroom open, doing the exact opposite of what his gut was telling him to do. His gut was screaming at him to run, to get out of there, to stop his heart from breaking again when it just began to heal. Ichigo gaped as he saw the person he waited for the past year laying down on his bed, acting as if nothing had happened.

"Hey berry, long time no see."


End file.
